Say NO – How to Deal With and Exit Toxic Relationships

Transcript

I love you with my heart, with my soul, with every fibre of my entire being. How are you feeling right now, beautiful soul?

So, this message today is about relationships, how to deal with toxic relationships and more importantly how to exit them because so many humans stay in toxic relationships when those relationships are no longer compatible. The man and the woman have become like oil and water, they naturally started to separate because their vibrations have changed their outlooks on life have changed, their values have changed but they try and cling or they try and fight to save something that can’t be saved. Now there are some relationships, marriages, or partnerships where they can be saved, and you know deep in your heart whether it can truly be saved or not.

A lot of people that I speak to who have been in toxic relationships for a long time always admit that they knew there was a point where they should have left, that there really was a line drawn in the sand, but they just didn’t step over it, and they carried on. One of the reasons this happens is because human beings are a little bit like dolphins. When you’re training a dolphin, you keep it guessing. When a dolphin does a trick, you don’t give it a treat or a fish or whatever it is that they give to the dolphins every single time. You might have to do three tricks then they get fed something amazing. Then they might do two or three tricks and get nothing. Then and they get fed a treat again. So, the dolphin never actually knows when they’re going to get their treat. It’s a little bit like gambling. A gambler never knows when they’re going to hit the jackpot, when their cards going to turn, and they get going to get in the house hands and it’s that not knowing that keeps you addicted.

Now in a toxic relationship someone could be being mentally abused, physically abused, sexually abused, it could be living with a narcissist, and they are getting treated like ‘crap’ but every now and again the man or the woman would be nice to their partner and that person’s like wow, this is amazing, this is just what I wanted. But they’re like a crackhead waiting for their fix, hanging on the clock in waiting, hoping, desperate, and when that little bit of food comes, that little bit of love, that little bit of sex, that little bit of energy, they hang on to it and then the person goes back to being toxic again. They’re arguing and their silent toxicity comes in all different shapes and forms and so the person is in a horrible situation again but they’re like the dolphin. They keep performing the tricks, they keep hanging on into the relationship waiting for their treat, waiting for the bit of goodness. In some relationships it could be 90 percent to 10 percent, 90 percent toxic  to ten percent love, but that 10 percent laughs, keeps the person hanging on. You’ve got to ask yourself is this really what I deserve. Do I deserve 90 percent toxicity, 10% love. What about 50/50? That’s still not good enough for you, 80/20 it’s still not good enough.

Now I’m not saying there should be a hundred to zero because we all have our ups and downs in relationships. We all press each other’s buttons. We come together to help each other out other grow so it’s never plain sailing. It’s never a truly smooth ride. It’s so important for every single human being going into a relationship to know that you’re there to help each other grow, that you’re going to mirror back to each other those crucial little poignant points that need to be honed and worked on, those fears, those insecurities that can be brought to the surface by your nurturing your partner so they can help you move through them and encourage you to move through them yourself. Not so you can blame that other human being for being this or that or negative or bad or jealous or whatever. It is because we can’t take personal responsibility, go into that relationship knowing that you’re going to grow into something magnificent if you’re prepared to put the effort in. Or is it like in all these Hollywood movies where sunshine, rainbows, love, cuddles, kisses, sex, travel, are few and far between.

We’re humans living in this 3D reality and we’re growing and evolving all the time and we really can sharpen each other in an amazing way. If you can see this as a chance or an opportunity to grow, then it’s going to be cool. You’re going to have fun, you’re going to learn, you’re going to remember, you’re going to become a better human being and an awesome couple in a wonderful marriage or partnership. Now if you’re in a relationship that is toxic you’ve got to know your worth and you’ve got to know that it’s time to leave. You must know you deserve to be loved because you love yourself so much. You love yourself unconditionally, beautiful soul. In a lot of toxic relationships quite often the toxic partner will decide okay I feel like sex to me, I feel like going out for dinner tonight, I feel like spending time with my wife, or my husband tonight, or today or this morning, well tomorrow. So, they kind of do it on their terms.

You need to be with someone that loves you always 24/7 from morning to night, and even if you’re going through a rough patch, where you’re bringing up each other’s stuff, when you’ve got to work through it, there’s still the underlying frequency where you know it’s true love and this is just a blip, this is just a growth spurt. Don’t be in a relationship where someone is dictating the play, being mean to you and then when they want something they’re nice to you. That is not a healthy relationship, that is a manipulative toxic relationship and you’ve got to get your ass out of there pronto, quick time, double time. You got the down the garden-gate, leave your s*** behind and get out of there because you deserve to be in a beautiful relationship, a magnificent relationship, an extraordinary phenomenal beyond human words experience that you live in 24/7 with your partner that loves you and cares about you. Not pretend to care about you for a short blip of time because they want something in return. You want to be with someone that wants to give to you and doesn’t expect anything in return. Just respect and love. When you’ve got love to give that’s beautiful and this is what you deserve. But do you love yourself because if you don’t love yourself, you’re not going to put those boundaries in place. You’re not going to communicate effectively to let your partner know that this is how you want to be treated.

If you let people trample on you, you’re going to train them to trample on you a bit like the dolphin you’re training. You’re training the human to treat you like dirt and if you do that then you’ve got to take personal responsibility for that. Why not turn around to your partner once your levels of awareness of arisen and say hey I know you’ve been treating this way for a little while and I want to let you know that it’s not acceptable. Now I don’t blame you for this in the slightest. I take full personal responsibility for not telling you earlier. I’ve allowed you to treat me like this and I was in fear I was too scared that you might leave me or reject me. So, I didn’t open my mouth. But now it’s too painful and I can’t go and go on any longer so I’m sharing my feelings with you. I hope you can understand that where you’re taking full responsibility, you’re not blaming them, you’re triggering an argument. It’s a great way to speak of truth. If it goes way beyond that and is toxic, you got to go. You’ve got to say adios, see you later, I wish you all the love, luck, and happiness in the world, but this isn’t for me anymore. You walk down the drive, out of the gate, and you don’t look back because you know that you deserve so much more. Life is too short, beautiful soul. It’s far too short.

We’re spiritual beings having a human experience on planet earth for a short period of time in the grand scheme of things, on a cosmic level. Know your worth and  just go. It might be tough to start with because you’re moving into new territory. You may not have the support financially, for example, but it will work out if you know your worth. You’re saying to the universe, ‘I’m not putting up with this. I love myself too much for this’, the universe is going to support you energetically. You’re going to be supported left, right and centre so just draw that line in the sand and step over it and allow yourself to flourish and shine and have another shot or maybe stay single, it doesn’t matter. Just let it unfold naturally. Once you’ve made that decision just know that you’re powerful and the universe doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle, ever. So, if you find yourself in a toxic relationship, try different ways, solutions, to try and solve whatever it is you’re going through. Communicate and talk but once you’ve gone to that point of no return where you truly know that it’s time to go because you’ve been in this this black hole for so long, stick on your parachute and jump out the plane and don’t look back.

Beautiful soul, you’re truly, truly, amazing and I love you unconditionally. I love you with my heart, with my soul, with every fibre of my entire being. I respect you as a cosmic warrior here on this planet in that human body, as a man or a woman, as a human, as a sister or brother. Go out and shine, go out and be all of you. Go ahead into this world and let your magic in or out of a relationship.

If you’re watching this on YouTube, please subscribe and share. If you’re watching on Facebook like and share it share these positive messages with your sisters and brothers. Together we can make this world a much more harmonious place. Teamwork is the key. We really are a family. Let’s treat each other like sisters and brothers. I’ll see you again real soon, beautiful soul.

ONE LOVE. ONE HEART. ONE HUMAN FAMILY. PEACE OUT, BEAUTIFUL SOUL